Not the Tibetan way

Screencapture “Members of the audience posing for a group photo with His Holiness the Dalai Lama at the end of the program in the courtyard of the Main Tibetan Temple in Dharamsala, HP, India on February 28, 2023."

Two videos have appeared on Youtube, where the Dalai-lama can be seen kissing a boy on the mouth: Dalai Lama inappropriately tongue-kisses boy and a video on the channel of Tibetan Happy [this video has now been removed 13042023, another copy here].

On February 28, 2023 in Dharamsala, the Dalai-lama addressed visitors from the M3M Foundation, “the philanthropic arm of M3M India group”, one of the country’s biggest real estate developers of “luxury residential developments and premium commercial projects”. One of the Foundation’s initiatives is iMpower. “iMpower Resource Center has been established to serve families of migrant construction workers that have no means for providing their children with supportive learning experiences.” The Dalai-lama addressed a group of graduates of this initiative.

At one point during the meeting, a boy (who may be related to one of the organisers, see photos below) asks if he can hug the Dalai-lama. Someone may have told him to ask this.

“Can I hug you?”

The translator explains “rgyal ba rin po che bsdam na grig gi red”, but the Dalai-lama doesn’t seem to understand. Then another translator adds “rgyal ba rin po che hug cig bcing gi ‘dug zer”. This time the Dalai-lama seems to understand (maybe confusing a hug and a kiss). 

"Ok, come !"

"First here" [points to his cheek]

"Then I think finally here also"

[points to his mouth, pouts his lips and moves forward]

 

"And suck… my tongue"

[DL sticks out his tongue and moves his head towards the boy.

The boy initially approaches hesitantly,
than withdraws, visibly somewhat ill at ease]

"Thank you." [grabs the boy’s hand and holds it against his cheek,
relatively long, the boy smiles a bit akwardly]

"We are same human brothers sisters [puts his arm around the boy’s neck and draws the boy towards him and holds him with one hand, relatively long, the boy tries to get out of the hug. When released the boy smiles akwardly] 

"Thank you." [the boy wants to go, DL holds him back,

pointing his finger up to imaginary good people] "
"Now, you should look those good human beings, who create peace, happiness."

"Should not follow those human beings who always kill other people. 
You should not look these people."

[DL pulls boy towards him and hugs him, with one hand, then with two hands,

then seems to tickle him under his right arm,

the boy withdraws, protecting himself with his right arm, smiling a bit akwardly]

On the picture above, the boy is standing in front of the Dalai-lama, a woman and a man standing next to him. Perhaps his parents, as representatives of the Foundation or the M3M Group? Would this explain all the “special attention” the boy is given by the Dalai-lama?

Hugging, kissing on the cheek, kissing on the mouth and tongue kissing in public are not Tibetan customs. Greeting with the tongue was a Tibetan custom, but has disappeared from the Tibetan communities in exile. The Dalai-lama seems to be mocking Western habits of greeting, by going further each time. Perhaps he finds those habits too intimate in public situations, especially compared to the Indian greeting with folded hands (namaste). Yet he doesn't refrain from acting them out in public, and with a boy. At every more intimate way of greeting the DL suggests, the audience laughs louder. Perhaps after the tongue kiss the Dalai-lama realises he may have gone too far, and goes back to the simple “hug”, the boy actually asked for, and talks about good and bad people and how the boy should strive to follow the good people. He hugs the boy again and tickles him, as an uncle would do to his nephew or niece..., ending the encounter in a more acceptable joking way, making thus forget what happened just before.

At one point after the meeting the boy breaks a coconut by throwing it on the floor. The DL laughs

During the meeting the Dalai-lama said: “Sometimes I jokingly say that in times past we Tibetans were the students and you Indians were the teachers, but now, when Indian has come so much under the influence of western thought, it is we Tibetans who have kept ancient Indian knowledge and values alive.” (Buddhist Times)

The Dalai-lama seems to want to suggest that the Indians, unlike Tibetans, went too far in accepting the Western influence, perhaps including “strange” Western habits and values. This could be a change from his former soft power tactics, perhaps the Dalai-lama wants to show stronger support to “traditional” Indian values and habits, and to Modi’s political choices. Since Western values are under attack, and the power balance may be changing, showing more criticism of the West and a greater inclination to traditional Asian values could perhaps be thought of as an intelligent soft power move in a changing world, and especially in India?

Apart from this, the way the Dalai-lama acted with the boy, used him as an object for whatever reason, is not acceptable. How the Dalai-lama could associate a hug asked by a child with a tongue kiss, only he himself or his shrink can know. All the boy asked for was a simple hug. I think the Pope, another His Holiness, would probably have given the boy a simple hug. Imagine what would have happened if the pope acted like the Dalaï-lama. Buddhist exceptionalism is still alive and kicking, but for how long?  

Update 10042023 Reaction Office of the Dala-Lama