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| Jigme Ugen |
Often reactions are more telling than incidents in themselves.
We already know Jigme Ugen, the USA-based president of the Tibetan National Congress as the spin doctor who produced the cultural context of the grandfatherly Amdo “Eat-my-tongue” custom, as the most plausible explanation for the Dalaï-lama telling a boy “Suck my tongue” whilst sticking out his tongue. On May 3rd 2023 Jigme Ugen published a small fast and energetic clip on Twitter “Y’all Owe His Holiness The #DalaiLama An Apology!” summing up “for the last time” his arguments for why “we” (“Y’all”) ought to apologize to the Dalai-lama. It can be deduced from this clip, that the “Y’all” are all those who don’t adhere to the arguments that are summed up in its message.
In doing so Jigme Ugen beefs up his theory of the “cultural prank” and “grandfatherly affection” by adding that the boy “already” had two primer interactions with the Dalaï-lama, and asked for yet another hug, thus setting himself up for the Amdo grandfatherly tongue prank. He only got what he deserved… That is to say, according to Jigme Ugen, because we don’t know what went on in the Dalai-lama’s mind, and the apology of the Dalai-lama’s Office[1] makes no mention of it.
Jigme Ugen doesn’t mention the apology of the Dalai-lama’s Office in his clip and goes on to explain that it was a globally telecasted event, where 120 graduates, “many dignitaries and authorities” and family members of the boy were present. The suck-my-tongue incident happened in plain sight[2].
We learn through Jigme Ugen that after the viral started (beginning of April), the “boy’s family [...] sent a letter to His Holiness assuring their continued faith and apologizing for the distress”. Jigme Ugen stresses that the boy’s mother “is a grand doctor of philosophy and has a degree from Harvard. She has countless awards on her work on women’s and children’s rights.” The day of the meeting with the Dalai-lama she declared they were “totally, totally blessed to have got this blessing from His Holiness.”
Jigme Ugen doesn’t mention that the mother, Dr. Payal Kanodia, was at the meeting in her capacity of director of the M3M Foundation, which is behind the iMpower Academy for Skills (the 120 graduates), and which is the “philanthropic branch” of the M3M Group of her billionaire father Basant Bansal that has links with The Trump Organisation, for which M3M builds Trump Towers in India. The name M3M stands for “Magnificence in the Trinity of Men, Materials & Money”.
Corporate sponsorships and philanthropic activities can bring great benefits to groups such as M3M regarding perceptions of corporate social responsibility (CSR)[3]. In Modi’s India, publicly associating oneself with a guru, in this case a globally known one with a Nobel Prize of Peace, will also give a corporate positive religious credit among the religiously inclined. The Dalai-lama can therefore be a great catch for corporates, and corporates can be great catches for Buddhist charities: often a win-win situation for both. In case anything goes wrong with a philanthropic opportunity, both parties may express their regrets, without harming the mutual relationship.
Since the mother and the boy both declared themselves blessed by the Dalai-lama during the event, the family apologized by letter to the Dalai-lama “for the distress”, and there is no crime and no abuse Jigme Ugen asks in his clip to “stop being a mouthpiece for an evil authoritarian government [China].[4]” He gives us so much context that the very core of the incident disappears into thin air. Those wanting to discuss it further would only make themselves guilty of hurting the Dalai-lama, the Tibetan people, the Tibetan cause, playing into the hands of China, sensationalizing and hypersexualizing a playful and innocent interaction, whilst threading on or stepping over the cultural context of a Tibetan custom, which Jigme Ugen sees as the real inspiration behind the Dalai-lama’s words and gestures and would like all of us (“Y’all”) to see in the same way.
In the spin doctor’s eyes, the only cultural context that is entitled to be invoked in this case is the “Amdo” one. The globally telecasted event took place in India, in front of a mixed audience, through the interaction of the Indian grandson of the top real estate builder of the Trump Towers in Delhi and the global media-savvy Dalai-lama, but we are forced to see it exclusively as an intimate affectionate exchange like that between a modest Amdo grandfather, a simple monk, and his modest grandson, only playing a prank because the boy kept asking for more attention. Not to see it with this spin would make us (“Y’all”) into despicable human beings. This is our last chance to apologize...
“Stop hypersexualizing an innocent cultural prank and a grandfatherly affection[5]. We should only feel lucky to be living in the same era as such a noble leader. A lot of y’all owe the Dalai-lama an apology.”
***
[1] “A video clip has been circulating that shows a recent meeting when a young boy asked His Holiness the Dalai Lama if he could give him a hug. His Holiness wishes to apologize to the boy and his family, as well as his many friends across the world, for the hurt his words may have caused.
His Holiness often teases people he meets in an innocent and playful way, even in public and before cameras. He regrets the incident.”
Reaction in Religion Unplugged :
“Don’t emphasize words like ‘playful’ or ‘innocent’
You may feel it’s not accurate to call a man kissing a boy on the lips “abuse.” But we submit it’s not accurate to call it “playful” either.
To do so minimizes the adult’s questionable actions and behavior and accepts the adult’s questionable framing.
The sad, simple truth is that no one knows the Dalai Lama’s intent. To assume it was playful or innocent is to give the grown-up the benefit of the doubt.
The benefit of the doubt in situations like this always goes to the child.” (Religion Unplugged. The Dalai Lama ‘Incident’: How Not To Respond To A Troubling Sexual Situation With A Child, by David Clohessy).
[2] “Don’t assume since it was done in public it’s harmless
Predators often test the waters by overstepping boundaries in front of other adults. They may aggressively tickle a girl or wrestle with a boy or engage in what he may later call “just horseplay.” If he’s not told to stop or if he gets no negative response, then he may believe he can gradually move ahead to more aggressive touching or more.” (Religion Unplugged. The Dalai Lama ‘Incident’: How Not To Respond To A Troubling Sexual Situation With A Child, by David Clohessy).
[3] “The popularity of these corporate-sponsored philanthropic activities has been spurred on by the growing evidence that consumers today are eager to patronize businesses that share their own values and ethics (Cone Communications. 1997: Creyer & Ross, 1997: Sen & Bhattacharya. 2(M)1). In addition, socially responsible corporate activity may represent an important source of competitive advantage because it can enhance the overall reputation of the company."
Corporate Sponsorships of Philanthropic Activities: Do They Help the Sponsor? Satya Menon &
[4] “Don’t ascribe ill motives to those who publicize the incident
It’s true that the Dalai Lama is both a religious and a political figure. And it goes without saying that his political opponents will try to capitalize on this moment to undermine his power and advance their own.
Those two facts, however, are irrelevant. What matters are his actions, not who discloses those actions or what their motives might or might not be.
Democrats highlight the rape allegations against Donald Trump. Republicans highlight Bill Clinton’s sexual misconduct. And none of that impacts the truth in either case.” (Religion Unplugged. The Dalai Lama ‘Incident’: How Not To Respond To A Troubling Sexual Situation With A Child, by David Clohessy).
[5] “Don’t overemphasize supposed cultural differences
Obviously, different nationalities, ethnic groups and religious denominations have different ways of doing and saying things. It’s important to be cognizant and respectful of these differences.
In most places, a grown-up hugging a child who isn’t their own is acceptable, especially if the child
initiates the contact. In most places, a grown-up kissing a child who isn’t their own on the cheek is also acceptable. But an adult kissing a child on the lips is usually less acceptable. And not to put too fine a point on it: We know of no culture in which it’s OK for an adult to say “suck on my tongue” to a child.
Again, if there’s doubt, we err on the side of the potentially victimized, not the potential victimizer.” (Religion Unplugged. The Dalai Lama ‘Incident’: How Not To Respond To A Troubling Sexual Situation With A Child, by David Clohessy).
You may feel it’s not accurate to call a man kissing a boy on the lips “abuse.” But we submit it’s not accurate to call it “playful” either.
To do so minimizes the adult’s questionable actions and behavior and accepts the adult’s questionable framing.
The sad, simple truth is that no one knows the Dalai Lama’s intent. To assume it was playful or innocent is to give the grown-up the benefit of the doubt.
The benefit of the doubt in situations like this always goes to the child.” (Religion Unplugged. The Dalai Lama ‘Incident’: How Not To Respond To A Troubling Sexual Situation With A Child, by David Clohessy).
[2] “Don’t assume since it was done in public it’s harmless
Predators often test the waters by overstepping boundaries in front of other adults. They may aggressively tickle a girl or wrestle with a boy or engage in what he may later call “just horseplay.” If he’s not told to stop or if he gets no negative response, then he may believe he can gradually move ahead to more aggressive touching or more.” (Religion Unplugged. The Dalai Lama ‘Incident’: How Not To Respond To A Troubling Sexual Situation With A Child, by David Clohessy).
[3] “The popularity of these corporate-sponsored philanthropic activities has been spurred on by the growing evidence that consumers today are eager to patronize businesses that share their own values and ethics (Cone Communications. 1997: Creyer & Ross, 1997: Sen & Bhattacharya. 2(M)1). In addition, socially responsible corporate activity may represent an important source of competitive advantage because it can enhance the overall reputation of the company."
Corporate Sponsorships of Philanthropic Activities: Do They Help the Sponsor? Satya Menon &
Barbara E. Kahn
[4] “Don’t ascribe ill motives to those who publicize the incident
It’s true that the Dalai Lama is both a religious and a political figure. And it goes without saying that his political opponents will try to capitalize on this moment to undermine his power and advance their own.
Those two facts, however, are irrelevant. What matters are his actions, not who discloses those actions or what their motives might or might not be.
Democrats highlight the rape allegations against Donald Trump. Republicans highlight Bill Clinton’s sexual misconduct. And none of that impacts the truth in either case.” (Religion Unplugged. The Dalai Lama ‘Incident’: How Not To Respond To A Troubling Sexual Situation With A Child, by David Clohessy).
[5] “Don’t overemphasize supposed cultural differences
Obviously, different nationalities, ethnic groups and religious denominations have different ways of doing and saying things. It’s important to be cognizant and respectful of these differences.
In most places, a grown-up hugging a child who isn’t their own is acceptable, especially if the child
initiates the contact. In most places, a grown-up kissing a child who isn’t their own on the cheek is also acceptable. But an adult kissing a child on the lips is usually less acceptable. And not to put too fine a point on it: We know of no culture in which it’s OK for an adult to say “suck on my tongue” to a child.
Again, if there’s doubt, we err on the side of the potentially victimized, not the potential victimizer.” (Religion Unplugged. The Dalai Lama ‘Incident’: How Not To Respond To A Troubling Sexual Situation With A Child, by David Clohessy).
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