The subjectivity of "groping"

Tweet du 16/12/2020

In the discussions about abuse and violence in Buddhism on social networks, different approaches can be distinguished. One can assume that all those participating in the discussions are interested in Buddhism. Some may have been deeply involved in Buddhism for a long or short time, others may have a looser interest in Buddhism, most will have frequently visited Buddhist centers for some time.

As with many other human organisations, once one is deeper and longer involved in it, the precautions taken with outsiders, sympathizers and visitors (even regular ones) are dropped, and one will get a more direct taste of its workings and of what goes on behind the scenes. “Sunday Buddhists” do not experience the same “Buddhism” as those in close everyday contact with a Buddhist organisation. And I am not even considering those centers whose gurus and their close circles specialise in the “smashing of concepts” and/or the “crushing of egos”. In the context of this blog, I will prefer to talk about the guru and his (too few exceptions, to use another possessive pronoun) circles, since a man on his own doesn’t have any authority. I will use the word “Gurukula”. The experience of “Sunday Buddhists” is therefore necessarily more shallow than the one of those who were sitting at the first rank every day and got a real taste of it. Their experiences don’t compare, and yet in many discussions this aspect is not often taken into account. It is sometimes simply one “Sunday” opinion against a more informed opinion.

Among those who have been around for a longer period, there are those who may have never witnessed any harassment, violence and abuse[1] and who are happy with the Gurukula. They probably have taken on responsibilities themselves and play an active role in the Gurukula. Others may have witnessed such incidents, but consider these are part of “growing up” spiritually. They may or may not consider that those undergoing the abuse knew what they were getting into, and that the teacher was acting like this in the student’s spiritual interest. They too may have taken on a role in the Gurukula.

Some may have been disillusioned early on, simply because the Gurukula thing wasn’t their cup of tea, or because they witnessed things that didn’t agree with them. Some of those may even have decided to stay in the Gurukula for various reasons and put up with the unpleasant stuff. Others may have left for various reasons. Anyone who follows Buddhist centers for a while will notice a huge turnover of visitors, guests and Sunday Buddhists. Less old faces and always many new faces. A Gurukula has rules that are not really written down somewhere, but the Guru is its center and ultimate authority. Contacts with Buddhist Gurukula members are far more frequent than direct contacts with the Guru. A Gurukula has many unspoken rules, and loyalty towards the Guru and the Gurukula are definitely the top ones.

Coming back to the discussions about abuse and violence in Buddhism on social networks, there are many participants with various motives, but those who are involved with a Gurukula will mostly adopt positions in favour of Gurukula rules. They see a purpose in Gurukula rules and behaviour, and will defend these by making as few concessions as possible. They don’t see any problem with the Gurukula approach in itself, on the contrary. There may be some individuals that don’t live by its rules, and who abuse their power. Those individuals may be sacrificed, shamed, convicted etc. in order to save and stick to the Gurukula approach. Who dies if the Gurukula live?

If one ignores the Gurukula approach and its huge potential for psychological suffering, peer pressure, harassment, “ego-crushing” and “concept-smashing”, and possibly damage control, and DARVO techniques, then one will certainly misjudge the gravity of some “allegations”.

I happened to read the following tweet by the German monk Tenzin Peljor, responsible for the website Diffi-Cult (Controversy Blog), reacting to a tweet by Buddhist Leaks run by a group of survivors of abuse in Buddhist circles. Tenzin Peljor took offense at the qualification of Dagri Rinpoche as a predator.

“the perpetrator is a teacher and a predator (the allegations were in all cases groping). since i've worked many years with criminals I chose to see criminals as human beings. i don’t call them criminals but human beings who have done crimes. it seems we two have diff. approaches”

If I get it right, the position of Tenzin Peljor and of Diffi-Cult wants to be a consensual one. Along the lines of making a distinction between the man or the artist and his work. According to that point of view teachers like Sogyal, Trungpa, Sakyong Mipham, Robert Spatz (Lama Kunzang Dorje) etc. (the list is too long) ought not only to be remembered for their abuse, but also for the good things they did. Individuals may make mistakes, but the Gurukula system is infallible and needs to be defended by all means. In the case of Dagri Rinpoche, the survivors first got the full DARVO treatment, Zopa Rinpoche taking the lead[2]. After investigations, Zopa Rinpoche’s FPMT Inc. concluded “Dagri Rinpoche did engage in a pattern of intentional and inappropriate sexual behavior that persisted over many years towards women who were in his company due to his position as a trusted incarnate lama and teacher”. Some of the women were ordained nuns, and thus also affiliated with a Gurukula and its rules.

In the above tweet Tenzin Peljor writes “the perpetrator is a teacher and a predator (the allegations were in all cases groping)”. I read this as an attempt to limit the abuse to “groping”. One may hope that the judge will be able to appreciate the difference between the “groping” of a passager on a bus or a plane..., and the abuse by a Gurukula leader of female Gurukula members (including ordained nuns), where the survivors are confronted with a full DARVO treatment by the other Gurukula members and lineage hierarchs.

MàJ 18122020 Also see the article "Hostile Takeover" by Rob Hogendoorn on the rather hostile reception on Diffi-Cult of his former article Knave or Fool? The Dalai Lama and Shōkō Asahara Affair Revisited.

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[1] Pema Chodron about her teacher Chogyam Trungpa : « He said that the job of a teacher is to insult you, insult your ego. »
" [Chogyam Trungpa] said, well, the problem with Merwin — this was several years ago — he said, Merwin’s problem was vanity. He said, I wanted to deal with him by opening myself up to him completely, by putting aside all barriers. “It was a gamble.” he said. So I said, was it a mistake? He said, “Nope.” So then I thought, if it was a gamble that didn’t work, why wasn’t it a mistake? Well, now all the students have to think about it —so it serves as an example, and a terror. But then I said, “What if the outside world hears about this, won’t there be a big scandal?” And Trungpa said, “Well, don’t be amazed to find that actually the whole teaching is simply emptiness and meekness.” When the Party’s Over, interview avec Allen Ginsberg dans Boulder Monthly, mars 1979.

[2] "From my understanding, in my view and according to my mind, Dagri Rinpoche is a very positive, holy being—definitely not an ordinary person."

"Therefore, I want to tell the students who have received initiations and teachings from Dagri Rinpoche that you should definitely one hundred percent rejoice, no matter what the world says, no matter if some people criticize him.'

“We will have to achieve enlightenment in order to investigate the beginningless rebirths of Dagri Rinpoche. We have to be enlightened; otherwise, we can’t investigate. This is my logic.”

“ I want to say that I am deeply sorry about all the people who got hurt from Rinpoche’s holy actions.”

Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s Advice to Students of Dagri Rinpoche

Finie la lune de miel ?

Chogyam Trungpa

La rencontre entre occidentaux et lamas tibétains avait commencé comme une « love affair[1] » et est en train de tourner au vinaigre. L’intérêt, l’ouverture et le rapprochement des débuts ont fait place à la méfiance, au repli et à un éloignement, à en croire les sorties médiatiques successives de Dzongsar Khyentsé Rinpoché (DKR) né en 1961 comme le fils de Thinley Norbu Rinpoché (1931-2011)[2], le petit-fils (paternel) de Dudjom Rinpoché (1904-1987) et le petit-fils (maternel) du maître bhoutanais Lama Sönam Zangpo (bsod nams bzang po 1888-1982), un disciple de Drubwang Shakya Shri (1853-1919). Du gros calibre. Il fut entrôné en 1968 par Dilgo Khyentsé Rinpoché I (1910-1991) comme une réincarnation de Jamyang Khyentsé Wangpo (1820-1892) et fit ses études au Sakya College à Rajpur et plus tard à London's School of Oriental and African Studies.

Logiquement, le bouddhisme est pour lui une affaire de famille, laquelle famille en tant que descendants du roi Trisong Detsen (704?-797) et de ses ministres s’est donnée pour mission de préserver le message du Bouddha (84.000) et la tradition bouddhiste ésotérique. Elle prend cette mission très à coeur et ne manque pas de prendre la défense de la tradition bouddhiste, quand elle la voit menacée (ici et ici).

Quels sont les dangers que DKR perçoit et dont il parle et écrit dans les médias ? Il s’agit principalement de valeurs qui ont fait la grandeur (imparfaite) de l’occident, mais qui risquent de saper la tradition bouddhiste, si l’on ne fait pas attention. Notamment la laïcité qu’il ne voit pas comme un principe qui permettant la coexistence de différentes religions, mais comme une menace. Comme le remarque Jay L. Garfield, DKR oppose la laïcité et la spiritualité, qu’il considère comme des contraires.[3] En 1992, son père, Thinley Norbu, opposa dans les mêmes termes le nihilisme à la laïcité (Words for the West[4]). DKR considère-t-il peut-être la laïcité comme un nihilisme ? Mais aussi des valeurs comme l’égalité/parité, la démocratie, l’éducation non équilibrée par des principes religieux peuvent être un risque selon lui.

DKR est un maître tibétain appartenant à l’école nyingmapa, qui considère Padmasambhava comme un deuxième Bouddha. Les instructions attribuées à Padmasambhava furent considérées plus aptes aux individus de l’âge noir (kaliyuga). Dans le bouddhisme de l’école des anciens le gourou prend un rôle central. Padmasambhava est d’ailleurs aussi appelé le « précieux gourou ». Tout comme son père, DKR parle souvent du rôle essentiel du gourou. Sans un gourou, il est quasiment impossible de venir au bout de notre égocentrisme et ses ruses multiples.

Le bouddhisme qui se comporte de plus en plus clairement comme une religion et que DKR, tout comme son père feu Thinley Norbu avant, voit menacé par les valeurs de l’occident est en fait le bouddhisme (vajrayāna) du deuxième Bouddha. Mais à chaque fois que DKR prend publiquement la défense du bouddhisme, il s’appuie plutôt sur le premier Bouddha et sa doctrine de la coproduction conditionnée, comme si c’est celle-ci qui serait sous le feu des critiques. En revanche, quand il enseigne en tant que gourou, ce sont surtout les instructions du deuxième Bouddha qu’il considère capables de venir au bout de l’ego.

« I find it difficult to see the advantage of incorporating these limited Western value systems into an approach to the dharma. These certainly do not constitute the extraordinary realization Prince Siddhartha attained under the Bodhi tree 2,500 years ago. The West can analyze and criticize Tibetan culture, but I would be so thankful if they could have the humility and respect to leave the teachings of Siddhartha alone, or at least to study and practice them thoroughly before they set themselves up as authorities. »

Quand l’occidental « analyse et critique » la culture tibétaine, il ferait mieux d’étudier et pratiquer d’abord les enseignements de Siddharta, écrit DKR, qui rappelle souvent que la base des enseignements de Siddharta est sa doctrine de la coproduction conditionnée. La dévotion, qui est le principe actif dans la relation entre maître et disciple, n’est en fait, selon DKR, rien d’autre que la foi en « la logique de cause à effet ».[5] Cela veut dire que quand on considère le gourou comme un être ordinaire, il sera un être ordinaire, mais quand, grâce à la foi (la foi étant la cause et l’effet), on le considère comme un être éveillé, il sera un bouddha. Que le gourou soit d'ailleurs éveillé ou non…[6]

Coproduction conditionnée égale méthode Coué ?

« - Toute pensée occupant uniquement notre esprit devient vraie pour nous et a tendance à se transformer en acte.
- La fin étant pensée, le subconscient se charge de trouver les moyens de la réaliser. C’est la loi de la finalité subconsciente »[7]

DKR précise que si le gourou n’est pas éveillé, il subira le karma associé à ses actes, tandis qu’un gourou éveillé ne subit plus aucun karma.[8] Un gourou qui descend d’une famille de gourous et qui a été intronisé comme la réincarnation d’un grand gourou ne peut être qu’un gourou éveillé. Car, il n’est pas possible de se réincarner à volonté sans être éveillé. Logiquement, quand, de notre point de vue limité et égocentrique, un gourou réincarné (tib. sprul sku) « semble » mal se comporter, il n’accumule pas de karma. N’ayant plus d’ego et n’étant plus affecté par le karma, sa méconduite aurait pour unique objectif de nous mettre à l’épreuve afin de nous libérer de notre égocentrisme. Et même si ce n’était pas vrai, notre foi, analogue à la coproduction conditionnée, peut faire en sorte que cela le devienne. C’est cela la force de la foi. Et de toute façon, si quelqu’un veut étudier avec un gourou tibétain c’est pour atteindre l’éveil et se débarrasser de son ego écrit DKR. Si le gourou ne nous caresse alors pas dans le sens des poils de notre ego, il ne faudrait pas s'en plaindre. « C’est déraisonnable de demander à quelqu’un de vous aider à vous libérer de votre ego et de le critiquer quand il travaille votre ego. »[9] Voire lui faire un procès ?

Selon DKR, quand des femmes occidentales ont des rapports sexuels avec des gourous tibétains, elles peuvent finir par être frustrées quand cela ne se passe pas selon leurs attentes[10]. On ne peut cependant pas réduire ces problèmes à des malentendus entre occidentales et orientaux ; les femmes tibétaines aussi en ont eu à découdre très tôt avec des yogis éveillés tibétains. Selon DKR, du point de vue de l’ego, il n’y a pas pire amant qu’un rinpoché.[11] Si cela est vrai, rien de plus normal que de sortir d’une telle relation le coeur brisé, ou alternativement l'ego brisé… Peut-être les gourous éveillés devaient-ils être porteur d’avertissements sanitaires comme les paquets de cigarettes ?

Le gourou, qui est à la fois « notre compagnon principal, notre famille, notre mari, notre femme et notre enfant chéri »[12], aurait fait son travail en « brisant nos concepts » (smashing concepts apart).[13] Le malentendu s’expliquerait aussi, selon DKR, parce que la notion de l’égalité des sexes est encore assez nouvelle en occident, « ce qui conduit à une certaine attitude rigide et fanatique quant à la manière de la mettre en oeuvre ».[14]

Sans doute, une personne dotée de la foi que le gourou est véritablement un Bouddha n'agissant que pour libérer de l’ego en brisant les concepts sortirait grandie d’une relation sexuelle avec celui-ci.

Ainsi, le bouddhisme gourou-centrique semble être avant tout une voie de la foi. Celui qui a foi aura tout, celui sans foi n’aura rien. Si vous n’avez rien (à cause de votre laïcité, nihilisme ou pyrrhonisme...), vous manquez de foi.

« Et c’est pourquoi ceux à qui Dieu a donné la religion par sentiment du cœur sont bien heureux et bien légitimement persuadés, mais ceux qui ne l’ont pas nous ne pouvons la donner que par raisonnement, en attendant que Dieu la leur donne par sentiment du cœur, sans quoi la foi n’est qu’humaine et inutile pour le salut. »
« Nous connaissons la vérité non seulement par la raison mais encore par le cœur. C’est de cette dernière sorte que nous connaissons les premiers principes et c’est en vain que le raisonnement, qui n’y a point de part essaie de les combattre. Les pyrrhoniens, qui n’ont que cela pour objet, y travaillent inutilement. »[15]

Une fois les concepts et l’ego brisés, comment devient-on un gourou réincarné ? C’est une autre histoire et un peu plus longue. Mais comme la laïcité est une part essentielle de la république française et si le bouddhisme (tibétain) veut s’y implanter, les descendants de Trison Détsen feraient mieux de faire avec elle et d'autres valeurs occidentales. Le népotisme (spirituel ou autre) n'était pas bien vu non plus les dernières décennies, mais il semble sur le retour...

On en reparlera sans doute avec la sortie du livre Les dévots du bouddhisme par Marion Dapsance le 23 juin 2016.

MàJ 04/10/2016

« By understanding emptiness, you lose interest in all of the trappings and beliefs that society builds up and tears down - political systems, science and technology, global economy, free society, the United Nations. You become like an adult who is not so interested in children's games. » Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche, publié sur Nyingma Masters le 2 octobre 2016

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« Même si je suis un moine bouddhiste, je crois que ces solutions se trouvent au-delà de la religion, au delà du religieux, dans la promotion d'un concept que j'appelle l’Éthique Laïque.
C'est une approche, une voie d'éducation, basée sur la science, sur les résultats scientifiques, sur l'expérience commune et le sens commun - une approche plus universelle de la promotion de nos valeurs humaines partagées.» Le Dalai-Lama (16/06/2016)


[1] « At the beginning a kind of courtship with the guru is taking place, a love affair. » Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism

[2] Sa mère est feu Jamyang Choeden.

"His maternal grandfather was the late Lobpon Sonam Zangpo, a great practitioner of the Drukpa Kagyu Lineage in Bhutan. Lama Sönam Zangpo (Wyl. bsod nams bzang po) (1888-1982) was a direct disciple of Drubwang Shakya Shri, who specialized in the Six Yogas of Naropa. He was Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche's maternal grandfather and teacher. He was featured in Arnaud Desjardins' movie, 'The Message of the Tibetans'. "

Son père, Thinley Norbu, est décédé en 2011, puis s’est réincarné en le fils de son frère cadet.

[3] Voir Jay L. Garfield

[4] « According to my understanding, nihilism means not believing in any spiritual point of view. Nihilists only believe in what they can see, what they can hear, and what they can think, or the substantial reality of whatever temporarily exists in front of them. For example, they believe only in this life and not in previous lives or future lives, because they don't believe in continuous mind, although it is inevitable that mind is continuous. Nihilists don't accept Buddhist beliefs such as the interdependence of reality, or that relative truth, whose essence is delusion, only exists according to beings' reality habits. When something happens through previous karma, if nihilists cannot find any explanation to prove why it has happened, they think it is just coincidence. »  Thinley Norbu, Words for the West

[5] « The principle of guru and devotion is much more complicated than creating a role model and worshipping him or her. Devotion, when you really analyze it, is nothing more than trusting the logic of cause and effect. If you cook an egg, putting it in boiling water, you trust the egg will be boiled. That trust is devotion. » DKR, Distortion

[6] « It needs to be emphasized that it is our perception of the guru which enables the guru to function as a manifestation of the dharma. At first we see the guru as an ordinary person, and then as our practice develops we start to see the guru as more of an enlightened being, until finally we learn to recognize the guru as being nothing but an external manifestation of our own awakeness or buddhamind. In a subtle way then, it is almost irrelevant whether or not the teacher is enlightened. The guru-disciple relationship is not about worshipping a guru, but providing the opportunity to liberate our confused perceptions of reality. » DKR, Distortion

[7] Source

[8] « Obviously, if he is an enlightened being, he has no karma, but if not, the consequences of his actions will come to him; his actions are his responsibility. » DKR, Distortion

[9] « Anyway, if someone goes to study under a master with the intention to achieve enlightenment, one must presume that such a student is ready to give up his or her ego. You don't go to India and study with a venerable Tibetan master expecting him to behave according to your own standards. It is unfair to ask someone to free you from delusion, and then criticize him or her for going against your ego. I am not writing this out of fear that if one doesn't defend Tibetan lamas or Buddhist teachers, they will lose popularity. » DKR, Distortion

[10] « The notion of sexual equality is quite new in the West, and because of this there is a certain rigid and fanatic adherence to the specific way it should be practiced. In vajrayana Buddhism, on the other hand, there is a tremendous appreciation of the female, as well as a strong emphasis on the equality of all beings. This might not, however, be apparent to someone who cannot see beyond a contemporary Western framework. As a result, when Western women have sexual relationships with Tibetan lamas, some might be frustrated when their culturally conditioned expectations are not met. »  DKR, Distortion

[11] « If anyone thinks they could have a pleasing and equal lover in a Rinpoche, they couldn’t be more incorrect. Certain Rinpoches, those known as great teachers, would by definition be the ultimate bad partner, from ego’s point of view. If one approaches such great masters with the intention of being gratified and wishing for a relationship of sharing, mutual enjoyment etc., then not only from ego’s point of view, but even from a mundane point of view, such people would be a bad choice. They probably will not bring you flowers or invite you out for candlelit dinners. » DKR, Distortion

[12] « Not for Happiness: A Guide to the So-Called Preliminary Practices », en français « Pas pour le bonheur : Guide des pratiques dites préliminaires »

[13] « Faulty motivation leads to false expectations, which no guru can ever meet. And even though we think of ourselves as being students of a spiritual path, that faulty motivation means we will continue to experience all the mundane disappointments we have always felt when our samsaric plans are shattered. » dans « Not for Happiness: A Guide to the So-Called Preliminary Practices »,

[14] « The notion of sexual equality is quite new in the West, and because of this there is a certain rigid and fanatic adherence to the specific way it should be practiced. » DKR, Distortion

[15] Pascal, Pensées, Grandeur 6 (Laf. 110, Sel 142)